96% full

fireflies spark past my window

like forgotten falling stars

or, is it shooting stars?

remember that night in june when you

were there for me?

found always in june--the labyrinth weaves the path

back to you

always summer

when heat & starlight paint the pages of of our lives in

the muted colors of the plains

golden bleached to white ...

meadowlarks sing to a dawn ripe with 

raspberry hope 

&

the smell of sun-kissed skin lingers in the '69 mustang

along with a bottle of dime-store wine

kiss me & hold me fast

as this moment will not last

and fireflies leave their psychedelic trail of tears behind for you & i

blindfolded by fear & regret

hear the trucks from the interstate singing of wanderlust & tomorrow?

tell me a tale steeped in story & family & loss

and i will love you thru to the other side ...

this side

that smells of mountain pine & wild iris

scarred

but true

fireflies & shooting stars

yes

always in june 

wow

i didn't know how hard i try not to remember you
and how successful i've become
adept really , , ,
quite stellar
i didn't know how hard i try not to remember you
not to remember your voice
reassuring, smooth & over-easy-brown from the 5237.2 miles away
i try not to remember the happiness . .  crystal pure-poppy happiness
drop me to my knees happiness
that came with the surrender
the sureness
i try hard to not remember
the playlist of our connection
every month of our being
the soundtrack of relationship
sophomoric & erotic
how funny is that ?
giddily ridiculous & orange-pekoe-wise
collide ;
whispers of gods & lovers, hemingway & guinness  & gaga
sweat & anal beads
sweet baby james & beowulf
dragons & orbs
contrast of age against habit habit habit
thrill against routine & the expected
in acknowledgement of the hardness, lies the recognition of the missing ,,,,
the hole has changed  - no longer jagged & sharp
it it cold
devoid of canterbury bells & lichen
along it's scar
it does not smell of honeyed sunshine man-skin
but
ice
it smells of ice
polar ice, like where-nobody-can-live-ice
i haven't even thought of that hole for some time now
felt that fracture
and i almost miss the sharpness
the sting of the wound
the keening of the sorrow
almost .....
has my heart grown harder ? smaller ?  more fragile ?
no, it has actually grown brighter . rounder . fuller.
fragile - yes.
which is why
i try hard to not remember you