this isn't about love
nor about the tracing of maps upon skin-streets
not about needs wants
60 days
kisses
or the shape i found you in
it is the feel
of my body--this body striving to be all it can
bones of hand swollen and aching
reaching
struggling
learning
rebelling
skin becoming creped, freckled from age
not sun-kissed and peachy
as before
as before
bones thinning
remembering
refusing to listen
heaviness
lingering
in hips waist thighs
heaviness
oh reckless youth
what i would trade for the effortless birthright of ease of movement
coltish awkwardness & strength
and joy
i ache
from the grinding of bone upon bone
muscle against the gravity of the moon
and the space between where we are and where we want to be
held there by the tautness of your will
