Thursday, May 3, 2012

self as girl . . .













still
that girl in school who gets picked last
too tall
too skinny to be good or fast
at anything
listening to led zeppelin & csn&y
too much of a perfectionist to really know why
to swing the bat
to take a shot
discover a way to untie the indigo knot
deep inside
perfection had to be instant
too blond
too weird
so much fear
knowing i had landed on the wrong planet
cat stevens, heart & james taylor were my companions
all the while peering over the edge of souls canyon
playing at self & attraction
dressing up as a bunny in pink lace & a fuzzy-white earmuff bra
i served kings & polar bears, little joe & yogi bear
i heard the silent desperation of the lost & terrified
heart wrapped in glass & armor thorned
but it was there on my sleeve for all to see
silent
(everyone assumes apathy)
(emptiness)
(blue ice coolness)
but it is a feeling pounding & profound that trembles the earth
paralyzing
tapped into something bigger--brighter--grand
is there ever a master plan?
too much of everything
perfection the mask
the game
it's not about who gets picked at all
but who stands alone with 
a pink lace heart & a white earmuff bra

2 comments:

  1. Soozie, I blog-hopped over here for the Self as Child for Youth Tube, and am so glad that I did. Your poetry speaks of things from my own self as a child. It's been a nice read through my own memories. Thank you.

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  2. optymyst . . . thank you. !!

    ReplyDelete