calling . . .

dirt
dark
moist
air smells of blue
and spruce
mountain laurel
wild iris
fire & marshmallows
heaviness lingers in bone
removed from the sensual
embraced by the falling
fire dances beyond the woods
hearts lift together
walking walking walking
pixie-dust-path of love & light
painless
wanting float
laughter sparkles
hands touch
and hold
arms encircle
carried in
smells of smoke ... peace
tribal
mushrooms shine
the cord attaches &
fire dances
free-dom
transforms & bends
here - something silky, sideways & raw
steeped in time & forest strength
under the weight of this night
still ...
earth dancing under batik stars
dark moist soil whispering
it's open secrets
revealed in tableau's of pulse & beat
enchantment here . .
follow the trail of sweat, need & redemption
to sleep

you will find your way home , , ,

contrast

.... and it is a morning 

dawned overcast & steel grey 

a cardinal sings .....

but green is lingering just there, below the brown surface of things 

jackson browne is playing somewhere in this hollow house

where are the songs for people like us ?

no one writes about the fondness that stands outside the 

borders of time,

no one writes the haunting, sliding feeling that steals into one's heart ...

and no one touches upon the jihad of the soul 

there were other lifetimes, other valleys crossed ...

other bodies where these threads of angst were caught.

or -  perhaps it's found in every line
every verse
every truthful note
it's discovered in the breath held - a pause in the words on a line - white spaces where

some things are always better left unreconciled ....

funny really ... how one can see past the cloak :

"the killer in me knows the killer i see in you 

and the lover in me, sees the lover in you"...

ahh , i have heard the torment of your desire
& faced my own shattered porcelain need
as it lays upon the cold hard floor 

perhaps the joy lies in the discovery of what lies

beyond the broken
beyond the script .....

with the promise of 

a cerulean blue sky and 

the return of sunshine . . .

FLIGHT

sitting in this airport bar

after slamming your truck door 

sobbing

open 

wounded

our love's not working anymore

seems i missed the memo

ignored some crazy fly-by 

allowed this mountain-fairy-tale

was it worth this holiday try?

can't understand why i'm crying

i can't connect the dots

this kaleidoscope of sorrow

tumbles & won't stop

for a thread of brilliant knowing

and a shot-glass full of truth 

my heart spins in fractured free-fall

like whiskey and vermouth

can't understand when i'm crying

.... searching for the why ....

stuck in this frosted moment

suspended in a broken-heart cry 

trapped by our mismatched baggage

spinning unclaimed--heartbreak on the side

bending to touch redemption

our worlds no more collide

i rise to evolution

which each movement -- compassion is found

will not carry your myopic fear with me 

i'll leave it here upon this sagebrush ground 

don't tell me your righteous knowing 

the path

the truth 

and the light ...

your cynical crystal-ball vision

is shadowed by

our last gentle night

.... blue green always is your color 

and you smell of warmth & pine

patterns of moonlight on blue blue snow

somehow ...

your hand will always fit mine

3/26/11

i see the writing on my heart so clearly
i see the hardness of this distance from you
gone is the doubt & fear that tried to bind me
come feel the colors of this night
shift to blue ...
enfold this sorrow & talk to me dearly
wrapped in curly- willow & snow freshly new
found is the morrow in the echo of the valley
secure in the love & sureness of you
oh carry me
tucked safely in your pocket
oh carry me
forever in your soul
oh carry me
far across the hillside
oh carry me
closer to you
we travel solo
for most of this lifetime
we travel burdened by the baggage of our days
we make a turn
and change into the path of most resistance
we pause a beat and step out of the haze ...
oh carry me
far across still water
oh carry me to your barren, rocky shore
oh carry me thru forests green & silent
oh carry me with you forever more ,,,,

filling a hole

when i was young
summer days spent with grandparents
sleeping in

playing endlessly
oatmeal &
naps
swimming, books & summer friends 
every morning 
i would collect certain odds & ends
wire

sticks

apples & rocks
and i would build a squirrel trap
an amazing squirrel trap
a safe

inviting squirrel trap
i would build a squirrel trap
it would rest at the base of this huge old oak

in my grandparents backyard 
propped open 

waiting eagerly
expectantly
patiently
waiting
    to capture a squirrel
with intent sharp & focused
i would wait ....
birds churned & sang
bugs buzzed
i would watch
(gramma would bring me a peanut butter & jelly sandwich at noon
with the crusts cut off)
the sparse grass was moist & itchy as i lay on my stomach 
watching
and waiting
for hours
tightly pony-tailed hair
bobby socks & some pastel-bobbie-brooks-short-sets
waiting

eagerly 

expectantly 

patiently 
watching 
for
a squirrel to
want that shiny red apple
thrumming with some
ancient call
some primal need
to hold
something
wild

if only for a moment under a summer sun 

ravineux

... of the rain that washes these windows, hungry of wine, of heavy bread, of books, of blogs, of leather boots with high heels & tango shoes, of lectures & knowledge, of color, of smells.

i'm fucking hungry. 

i crave visions, revelations, magic, snow, dancing, language, poetry, thoughts that explode or linger, words that bleed, words that bruise, touch that heals.

i want to eat your laughter, the sound of your sighs, have all-you-can-eat-buffets of your silence and your semen, steak, underwear, wind, stout beer drowned in music.

i'll devour your salt-honeyed skin and all of your cherry tomatoes

i am obscenely hungry

of touch, movement, snow, quantum rabbit holes, peace, sunshine, mountain breezes, edible words like cunt & fuck

give me cigar smoke, tribal dreams and rainforests

sweet smell of honeysuckle

and your smell

your smell

one, two, three ...

madly hungry i am.

let me chew, gulp. lick, lick once again, kiss forever

to stick my tongue into every goddamn hole, to have my mouth full of you

songs, strawberries, earth, joy. 

to feed the mirror image, to surrender to the hunger really

unlock the larder, turn over the desk, pull down your underwear, get wet, pour your mind into my hands

and

i 

will

tenderly

hold 

you

sunday afternoon ,,,,

sunday afternoon 

with a

black thunder sky raining down

all i want to do is leave this quiet-happy town ....
so i
throw the golden tarot down
let the cards nudge me
... and the magician that is you
weaves the spell
pulling me away  ....
i follow the trail of you to the Cumberland Gap
... grab a 5th of jamieson and never look back
ego & dreams
collide against my bricks

breaking my stubborn

another one of your tricks
but the memory of your 501's
there against my leg

enfolds me & holds me
steering me to the trace of you - the space of you
somewhere along this twisted road ...
green vibrance stirs the soul of me
whispering to ghosts who won't let go of me ...
caught in some blood memory of what has been
and what will yet be ....
pine laurel awakens the scent of you
this mountain pass
rolls me as you do ...
intoxicates
captivates
and leads me down
thru the Cumberland Gap
black thunder sky raining down
steering me to the trace of you ...
the space

of you .